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Scrum is what happens when a decent idea gets fossilized into dogma and then sold as “agile.” It promises speed, adaptability, and empowered teams—but in practice, it often delivers theater, bureaucracy, and a calendar full of meetings that actively prevent work from getting done. Let’s start with the meeting addiction. Daily standups, sprint planning, backlog refinement, sprint review, retrospective—Scrum turns knowledge workers into professional meeting attendees. The irony